Routine

Every night I rock my son to sleep. I look forward to it.

Once he is grown and living his own life, it is one of those memories that will play through my mind on repeat. Something I will long for, and never forget.

Tonight Ryan went to put him down, while I was going to do laundry. Two minutes later, he came out. Told me that Jackson kept looking around, looking at the door, looking for ME.

I (happily) took him from Ryan’s arms, brought him into the bedroom, and sat in the rocking chair.

I sing him “Five Little Monkeys” and “Ten In The Bed” each night. (Don’t try to sing anything else, this little boy already knows what he likes!) Once he is asleep, I sneak in “You Are My Sunshine.”

Each night I hold him just a little bit tighter. I can feel him growing. I can’t hold him like I did in those first weeks. His legs now wrap around my belly as I rock him to sleep.

I fight back tears daily.

Is it selfish that I don’t want him to grow up?

I pray I can always keep him close, and that deep down, he will always need me!

Bloglovin

MadeByGirl

There are many blogs that I read that are not hosted by WordPress.

I’ve been going back and forth with relocating to Blogger or Tumblr. However… I can’t yet convince myself to do so.

SO I’m gonna try out Bloglovin, to see if that will help me stay put! Click on the link below to follow me! :)

http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/7660597/?claim=x66h6kf5beb

Mother’s Day

Yesterday I celebrated my very first Mother’s Day as a Mommy. Ryan and Jackson did so much to make sure it was  a very special day for me.

Time together. Homemade breakfast. Meaningful gifts.

Kisses. Hugs. Laughs. Snuggles.

A trip to Babies ‘R Us to buy Jackson toys. :)

It was perfect.

Jackson, I feel so blessed to be your Mommy. I am so proud of you. You are growing into such a big, strong, smart little boy already. Thinking about my life with you makes me feel so complete. Talking about you makes me beam with love. Spending my days with you makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world, and puts the biggest smile on my face.

Some days I really do feel like my heart could burst with all the love I feel for you.

I promise I will never go a day, taking this life for granted.

Ryan, because of you, we have this amazing life, and perfect little family. Thank you for all you have done for me and for all you have given me. I love you so much, thank you for helping Jackson make my first Mother’s Day so special. A day I will truly never forget.

Beating

“Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did – that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that – a parent’s heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.”
― Debra Ginsberg

Thought Of The Day

Pinterest

Moments: Month Three

Three months old. I can’t believe it!

I never want to forget all the little moments in watching you grow. I never imagined how the “littlest” of things would make us so extremely proud.

This month started off with a doctor’s appointment. The first one I took you to alone. I will NEVER forget the look in your eyes and the sad, sad look on your face after getting your shots.  You cried so hard, and there was nothing I could do. Little tears fell onto your face. It broke my heart, and brought tears to my eyes as well. Definitely a moment where I felt totally helpless.

This month you started holding your own toys! It was such a fun new experience. You haven’t been able to reach for them yet, but that’s okay. Growing little by little is just fine for me!

I never want to forget how nervous and paranoid I was when I let you nap on your belly for the first time. Since you don’t nap much at all, I thought I would give it a try. You slept so peacefully, however I was a nervous wreck and didn’t leave your side. AND checked to see if you were breathing about three hundred times while you took your TWO hour nap. I have a feeling somethings are going to be much harder for me, than for you. :)

At three months you started sleeping for six hours at a time. It’s weird, because I never thought I would miss getting up with you every few hours- but sometimes I do. I secretly grew to love waking up with you in the middle  of the night, feeding you, then holding you close while rocking you back to sleep. The feeling I get with you resting your little head on my chest, sleeping so sound, is something I just can’t describe.

This month I took you on your first picnic. You just love being outdoors. I brought a blanket and laid with you in the grass. It was such a perfect, perfect day. One of those days that I bury deep down inside so that I never forget it.

I never want to forget how proud we were of you when you discovered that you had TWO hands. (It sounds silly, but these are very exciting milestones I promise, and if you have babies yourself, you understand!) You brought them together and couldn’t stop playing with them. So small, yet so fun to watch.

This month you got to meet your Grandma and Grandpa Risselman, and also your Auntie Jennifer! To say they all loved you to death would be an understatement. It’s the coolest feeling to watch our family get to meet you. You instantly bring smiles to their faces, and you can just feel the love that they have for you. Something I will never forget!

I never want to forget the HUGE smile on your Daddy’s face when he took you out for the first time. A Daddy / Son date to run errands (No Moms allowed!) He was so, so excited. I loved it. Although I was so happy for Daddy to take you out, it was such a weird feeling for me to be home without you! I’m not so sure I liked it! :)

I never want to forget just HOW close you came to rolling over. Each time Mommy and Daddy cheering you on. I never want to forget the anticipation, watching you try and try and try so hard. I know it’s only a matter of time, and I can already tell you I’m going to be so proud!

After many, many, many discussions on whether we could make it work or not, this month we decided I was not going to return to work, and stay home with you full-time. It’s not going to be easy financially, but we decided it was what was best for our family. I don’t judge, I know some people don’t have a choice, and I know that some are eager to return to their jobs… I am just so thankful, and feel so blessed that I have the opportunity to be your Mommy full-time. I would get tears in my eyes, and my heart would get so heavy just thinking about leaving you each day. This is what I have always wanted. Ever since I was little I knew I wanted to be a Mom, to have a family. To be able to stay at home with you each day means more to me than anyone will ever know. I want to be the one to raise you, to teach you new things, I don’t want to miss out on one second of my life with you. I love every single minuet of every day… From waking up, snuggling in bed, reading books, singing songs, going for walks, and yes even your crabby times, because is when I get to hold you closest of all. I wouldn’t trade it for any amount of money in the world.

Top Five Favorite Photos | Month Three

Holding Daddy’s Hand, Watching Mickey Mouse

First Pair Of Big Boy Jammies!

First Pair Of Jeans, And One Of My Favorite Outfits

Daddy Loves To Dress You!

My World. This Face Melts My Heart

Month One | Month Two

Sweetdreams

I never thought that being a full time mommy would leave such a small amount of time for blogging.

The reality of it is, as much as I love blogging, I love spending time with my little man more. I try to take in every second with him. Most days, I can’t wrap my head around how fast time is going.

Jackson turned 4 months yesterday.

More and more I find myself snuggling with him just a little bit more, rocking him just a few minutes longer.

I can’t imagine a time where he won’t fit in my arms. Where he won’t need me to rock him to bed. Where he won’t fall asleep with his head on my chest. But I know that time will come too soon.

Those are just a few of the things that weigh heavy on my heart. So while I still can, I will continue to rock him to sleep nightly, let him sleep in my arms, and snuggle him so tight.

Sweetdreams.